As new parents, and this includes you, dads. You may be thinking that you’d like a few friends around that are in the same boat as you are, right?
First, congratulations, you just had a new baby, now you may start to realize that your friends, either don’t have any kids yet, or they have all had their kids, and your the late one to the party, at either rate, I’m guessing that your “friends” are getting a bit distant now that your the one with the new baby, sound familiar?
First let me say, It is perfectly normal for your good friends to back off a little once you have a newborn around, or for you to back off. This usually happens naturally for about the first 10 ish years of your child’s life. I’m not saying you won’t see your good buddy’s for that long, but the days of going out every weekend or hanging out in your buddy’s garage having a few cold ones while playing poker, are going to become few and far between. Not because you don’t want to, but more so that you are going to have other things on your mind. Also you friends naturally will be calling you less, because every time they try and get together you become less and less available. Not to mention that every time you are available it means that little junior will be tagging along too. So naturally they just stop calling. This is a very natural occurrence after children.
Or maybe your super lucky and all your friends are all having children at the same time so this post is not so much for you lol
Ok, well, with the pandemic still going on, It is much harder these days for new parents to find social groups for other new parents, or parents to be to find social connections.
Most of the groups today have transitioned into online groups. This is a far cry from the face to face social “human” interactions that we were all once accustomed to, am I right?
Nevertheless, we need to adapt with the times and do what we can. If you are on social media chances are you have a tone of old and new friends on there that you may or may not have much contact with these days? But within those contacts you may be surprised to find that several of those people are going through the exact same thing you are going through. Maybe a few of the old acquaintances are having children at the moment? It’s worth having a look anyways.
This might just be the perfect time to try and reconnect with some old friends. Or, maybe there is a coworker, or your partners coworkers that might be having a baby at the same time.
All I’m saying is you may be surprised to see whom, within your social groups, “ARE” in-fact going through exactly what you are.
So my suggestion is to have a pot luck gathering/meet and greet.
If you’re comfortable getting together with a few couples, (“ I suggest having a limit of about 5 or 6 couples”) all with newborns between the age of 0 to 1yr this will be 10 to 12 people plus their kids at your place.
This is a fairly cheap (not free) way of getting to know a few different couples with small children. The day will be a little chaotic as a few youngsters will be hard to keep a handle on, (it’s a good thing their parents will be there to keep an eye lol.)
I would suggest that you try to hold this event between noon and 5pm and on a Saturday would be preferable, as most parents will be exhausted and sleep deprived, and usually weekends are more available for free time. So not only are you more likely to have people show up but people will be gone early enough for you to tidy up and get an early night yourself.
For the dads out there. If you are presented with an opportunity to attend one of these potlucks, I suggest you go. You may be pleasantly surprised at who you may meet. Sure there is a possibility you may not like anyone there, or maybe you’ll find a new mate to hang out with when momma sticks you with the kids so she can have a spa day. Oh and by the way, it’s called fathering lol.
It is perfectly acceptable at one of these gatherings to ask the host what you can bring if it’s not already implied to you when you RSVP. and you can bring pre made (store bought ) items. Do not feel like you need to slave over a hot stove to bring something special , unless you really want to, everyone realizes we are all busy enough already and it’s perfectly acceptable, and appreciated.
The cost for attending one of these potlucks will be around $10 to $15 per couple plus the gas/ transportation to get there and back.
If your hosting this gathering, then the cost tends to be a bit more. Bank on spending anywhere from $25 to $50 because you will likely be the one supplying burgers, propane, and because you’re the one hosting them you will likely feel more relaxed if you have some extras on hand for your guests, such as pop, water, ect… but don’t go overboard. Entertaining people is not really the goal here. You need to remember that you are co-hosting this in order to connect or reconnect, and also possibly meet other parents as well. Spending too much time entertaining them, (worried about food, drinks, and people’s comfort). may result in a missed opportunity to mingle.
If you have any suggestions, or stories about potlucks you’ve hosted, Or attended, shoot me a message I’d love to hear how it went.
Of course hosting a potluck can seem like a daunting task, especially if you are a new parent and just getting used to having a newborn around, & along with getting all the day to day chores done as well. So another option is to get a few others out for a meal and then everyone gets catered to with none of the mess to clean up lol.
Let me know what you think of my posts by commenting below. If you’ve experienced one of these pot lucks? How did it turn out? What worked and what didn’t?
– Next post will be on Oct 25. (Spending Time Showcasing Your Newborn)