Ok CONGRATULATIONS, so you’ve had your child.
As a new parent to your newborn baby, I bet you and your partner are putting lists together of all the family members you’ll need to visit and which one of those members should be first, 2nd, 3rd ect…
Well what if I told you that as commendable as that is, it’s not necessarily going to happen the way you plan it.
Just think about your entire plan from when you were thinking of having a baby (if it was planned at all) to now. How much planning did you do? And how many people can honestly say that every time they plan something it worked out exactly as planned lol?
Well not me that’s for sure. But you know something? It’s totally fine that things work out the way they do.
For us, planning to showcase our newborn, to family members and friends, was of course high on our priority list, however, when it comes right down to it, this can take months to do unless everyone lives close by.
Our families are spread out all over and the reality is, my partner had a c-section.
At the very start, she was constantly exhausted and moving around was ( & still can be at times) uncomfortable, so we will get to our families when we can, and after my partner is healed fully and we have more time. (If we’re not exhausted).
If your family wishes to come over for a visit that would make things much easier. The truth of the matter is, & I personally believe, if your family wants to make your child’s acquaintance soon after birth, then they should put forth the effort to make sure that happens. (If possible) otherwise they will just have to be on your schedule.
It’s hard for new parents to get all the things ready even for a short trip to town for necessities let alone a long drive and a day away from the comforts of home.
This is going to be harder on the father as he will still have all kinds of energy and will want to travel to showcase his newborn to family and friends, and he won’t truly understand why his wife/partner doesn’t have his level of energy.
Well fellas, I’ve put some thought into this, and I will dangerously tread with caution here as I try to explain my findings on what I believe is going on here lol.
Remember those last 9 long months, when your partner was super tired and had a serious lack of energy? That’s because her body took all her energy in creating your newest member of the family, and now, her body is working overtime in getting back to the way it was prior to pregnancy, this can take the same 9 months for her to start feeling normal again. But wait, there’s more. While your partner fights to get back to the pre pregnancy shape she is also using a tone of energy to create milk in order for her to feed your child. Just think of a long day at work, no wait, think of the longest day at work you can remember! Ok remember it? Well then take that long day and think just how good it felt when it was quitting time, but just as you think your about to go home, your boss says everyone has to stay for an additional 8 hours to help get the project completed. Well it’s that moment where you just feel absolutely drained and can’t do any more, that is how your partner feels every day for the first few months to up to a year after birth. Now would you want to pack up the car and put on that smile and make yourself look like you are ready to party when you feel that way? just haserting a guess here, but I’m going to say “Probably not” lol
In other words, if you would like to go on the occasional outing, probably close to home or for a short visit then in order for your partner to want or even be able to do that, I suggest putting all that extra energy you seem to have into doing the house work. Yup that’s right, tidy, clean, dishes, laundry, cooking dinner, changing diapers, take out the garbage, empty the diaper genie, and the groceries. And if you still have to go to work and your not lucky enough to be on paternity for the first few months of the baby’s arrival then you’ll have to do that too, and you’ll even have to get up at night to feed the baby if you have the extra supply, if you can do all that you may have a chance to have a partner with some extra energy to do some of the visiting that you so badly want to do. Even if you’re able to do all of that remember your partner is still more exhausted than you are. Still don’t understand how that’s possible? You never will because we are men, and it’s impossible for us to truly understand
Do I have that about right moms? Let me know if I’ve left something out.
So now our little Nugget is almost 2 months old and we are still setting up dates and times for us to either travel and show off our little bundle or have people come to us and meet him.
Of course my partners side of the family is quite extensive and is why it’s taking a while. However on my side of the family it is fairly small , but most of them are a few hours away and we have yet to have our introductions, I’m hoping it will all happen soon tho.
I’d love to know, (in the comments section below), how, if any of you? got around the issues of showcasing your newborn to all your family and friends. How long did it take you to get around to everyone? And do you go to them or did they come to you.?